Icky
What will become of my sex life?
I went to the doctor a few days ago and was diagnosed with HPV (not the strain that causes cervical cancer, thank goodness). My last gyno exam was January and everything was OK then. Doc says I'd have to have contracted it between January and now. Have not really had sex with anyone but the primary partner in a while (especially without a condom). I told him. He has not reacted in an adverse way. I suppose that there is a slim chance it could be from him, but very unlikely.And he certainly hasn't been with anyone else (a very shy individual he is not out at bars picking up women) since he bemoans his lack of 'experience' to me often enough (I think he feel inadequate since I've been with more people....I tell him it is about quality, not quantity).
The doc says that for a few weeks I have to put on a treatment gel (it name escapes me right now....) and then it should go away and most likely never some back. That is a relief.
However, since I have yet to pinpoint the evil asshole who passed this on to me. I already feel less desirable and have very little urge for anyone to be touching me. I feel......unclean in the very basest sense. Kind of like when you have strep or the flu and have no desire to infect those around you, but worse. And ashamed. Like I should've been smarter. But then most men who carry it have no symptoms. Nature just ain't fair sometimes. Who am I to trust now when I asked them before sex if they have any diseases or anything else they wish to tell me?
I worry about the future of my sex life. How to break the news to potential partners? What will they think of me? Who will want to touch me, the tainted HPV gal? I wouldn't want to touch me.
To make things more stressful I met a nice guy at a bar not long ago. Cliche, I know. My friend Ricky and I, being the friendly people that we are, began talking to him and we ended up exchanging numbers. Supposed to get together this weekend.
AAAARRGGHHH!!!
5 comments:
hmmm--don't quite know what to say about this one. i got an hpv scare once, and it turned out that i had a yeast infection--a really bad one. but i was pissed about the misdiagnosis.
std's are a bitch, that's for sure. but hey--once the 4-6 weeks are done, it'll be a load off your mind. maybe you should feign bronchitis or something.
condoms can be such a drag, but it's moments like these that remind us that the chore is worth it. i got really lucky.
you know, it's sad that most people are not so understanding and are judgemental. i mean, when you tell them about it, they act like you deserve it and are covered with cooties.
that said, i'm quite a fragile girl. i am prone to uti's, so i carry uva ursi pills with me. sometimes, i get annoyed at my fragility.
another thing--historiaclly, being too clean is bad for you. that's how the indians dropped like flies when europen diseases like smallpox and the flu hit them. not that this is a reason to go out and get an std. but sometimes, nature is a funny lady...
It's also worth knowing that HPV is *very* easily transmitted nonsexually. For instance you might have shaken hands with someone and then touched yourself.
That doesn't make it any less of a drag to have them, but knowing it might help with any sense of "uncleanliness" either from you or your partner.
Where ever they came from I'm sorry you've had an outbreak. Take care,
figleaf
sorry to hear this.
But in the long run, honesty--as difficult as it will be -- is the best policy.
There are a thousand guys out there, and so if you lose a few after you have told them you have it, who is the better person for fessing up to your principles? You or them?
I say, bite the bullet, and tell your "partners". Then u will also truly know who will be there to support you--or not.
Good luck, and best of care!!
it is so gross to hear how common hpv seems to be. ick.
thanks for the support.
:-)
how are you getting rid of it in 4-6 weeks? i thought it was two years....
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