Faker!
An odd thing happened last night. I faked an orgasm.
I had never done that before. I was with secondary partner, who I shall now refer to as Status Quo Guy*, and he was behind me as I was on my side. After making enough encouraging noises he did not ask (as he usually does) if I was going to have one (he has seemed upset in the past that I don't seem to orgasm with him- part of it is him, part is me..another topic for another time). I felt both pleased (that I was not letting him down somehow by not coming) and ashamed (for having faked).
I have never understood why women fake orgasms. I have always felt that it was OK to say that I wasn't going to have one, as it is not always a reflection on one's partner (sometimes I'm overtired, sometimes I don't want to worry about my having one, etc...). I also kind of feel that if I'm not having them then yes, my partner should be doing something differently, or at least communicating with me about it.
Part of my reason for not having one last night was b/c the sex went like this:
- Kissing by the door as I was going to leave, my stroking his crotch.
- I take my snowy boots off, meet him in bedroom.
- He watches me undress (kind of a turn on for me).
- He undressed. Some kissing. Some fingers sliding into me.
- Me stroking his cock.
- He flips me over. (I think oral sex? Kissing my of my stomach?)
- He begins to enter me (uh...I guess you're not gonna lick me anywhere good).
- I have him flip over on his back so that I can give him a BJ to make sliding into me easier (see lube comment at bottom) and get some more attention for my feminine parts (I can't think of a better euphemism, and vagina sounds so clinical). This goes on for between 5-10 minutes.
- I straddle him and begin to ride.
- Position changing ensues- I roll over onto my side.
- The fake out.
- Position change-I am asked to get on my back.
- He cums.
Sounds thrilling, no? And I just realized that I've just been able to break down sex by bullet points. I've spent today evaluating why I seem to enjoy sex with him. I'm not really sure that I do any longer. I'm beginning to think that foreplay is a lost art. ** Or at least an absent minded one.
*When I mentioned that I had some lube in my purse he said "That's OK. I kind of like things, you know, as is". He is vanilla sex.
** Last time I saw him he spent a long while massaging my neck and other parts of me as I leaned up against him on the couch. Mmmm...that was yummy.
2 comments:
there's pressure to fake it. all the constant questioning of your orgasm is an ingenius, passive aggressive way for ego masturbation cloaked under the pretense of ensuring your pleasure. after all, the more you come, the bigger the stud he is, right?
don't get me wrong--a man ought to be proud that he can help a woman come. sexual prowess is a good characteristic in a lover after all. but a man wanting to make you come as much as possible isn't necessarily as altruistic as it sounds. he does get the trade off of getting confirmation of his studliness.
too many people forget that passion is always something that needs to be worked on. when the person is new, passion is easy. but i guess too many people get complacent when they feel they have guaranteed access, sexual or otherwise.
I appreciate your insight. It has opened my mind.
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